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A Bit of
Fun
You will just love these..................
From David Walker Especially when you see the answers!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This puzzle is called Lateral Thinking .. Scroll down slowly and be honest to yourself. Think like a wizard . . .. man 1. ------------ board Ans. = man overboard EASY STARTER Okay, let's see if you've got the hang of it. stand 2. ------------...
( Click for More Information )
Chinese sick leave : 'I no...
From David Walker (A bit rude ...........but funny) Hung Chow calls into work and says, 'Hey, I no come work today, I really s...
A Blonde goes to Heaven
Another golden oldie from you know who..........yep it's David Walker again! A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival,...
Spellchecker
From David Walker Eye halve a spelling chequer It came with my pea sea It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks eye kin kno...
Tell me this won't happen to...
From David Walker Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath.. She puts he...
Getting Married when Older
From David Walker Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Devon , are all excited about their decision to get married. ...
Life thoughts by Ducky
From David Walker How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ? I saw a woman ...
Lovemaking Tips For Seniors
From one who knows? David Walker 1. Put on your glasses. Double check that your partner is actually in bed with you . 2. Set ...
Snow storm
From David Walker A priest and a nun were lost in a blizzard. After a while, they came upon a small cabin. Being exhausted, they p...
Please Excuse Little Johnny . ....
These are actual excuse notes from parents (including original spelling) collected by Nisheeth Parekh, University Texas Medical Br...
The Pothole Song - could also...
From David Walker This affects all of us that drive cars in and around Salford. There might be worse places, but I doubt it. J...
The Charlie Schulz Philosophy
Another worthy snippet from David Walker (This is marvelous!! Scroll thru slowly and read carefully to receive and enjoy full...
The Veterinarian
One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the Pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. I...
Life
Something sentimental from David Walker Click on the link below and enjoy the show ( a year out of date but still worth a look)
Lawyers - god bless their cotton...
In keeping with the theme of American Court Cases……these are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things pe...
Only A Farm Kid
This little gem was sent in by the Claphams - all the way from Canada - thanks again Isobel! A Missouri farmer in his pickup, dro...
Family Tree of Vincent Van Gogh
From David Walker Family Tree of Vincent Van Gogh: His dizzy aunt ------------------------------------------- Verti Gogh The ...
This joke is terrible!
From David Walker (who else!) A blonde is in the airport with two sacks over her shoulder when she is stopped by Customs. They ...
A man was driving through an intersection when a traffic camera flashed. He thought his picture was taken for exceeding the sp...
Amazing new medical technology
From David Walker A couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hosp...
It beggars belief!
It's time once again to review the winners of the Annual "Stella Awards." The Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Lie...
Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't...
From David Walker (Hope he isn't referring to SalfordOnline!) Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter This one...
From a Saskatchewan farm kid, now...
Dear Ma and Pa: I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by ...
This one I like, Does it...
From David Walker
The real cause of global warming.......
From David Walker Problem solved then!
Gotta Love Old People
Thanks to the Claphams for this one! 4 old mischievous Grandma's were sitting at a table in a nursing home. About then an old Gra...
Men are just happier people
From David Walker NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah... If...
The Cowboy Boots
From David Walker (Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this one!) Did you hear about the Texas teacher who w...
Spaghetti
From David Walker For several years, a man had been having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided to ...
Men's Rules....................... Women should learn these!...
Says David Walker - OK girls? The editorial board would just like you to know we only post 'em! Women, learn to work the toilet se...
Speeding ticket
From David Walker My wife was stopped for excessive speeding yesterday! She thought she could talk her way out of a ticke...
Golf Nut
John and Helen met while on vacation, and John fell head over heels in love with her. But after a couple of weeks in which John to...
A Really Bad Day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truc...
A wee funny
From David Walker (This is bad....Ed!) Wee Hughie adored and loved his girlfriend, Lorraine, to whom he was engaged to be marri...
To all my intelligent friends
From David Walker I'm sending this only to my smart friends. I could not figure it out and had to look at the answer. See if y...
What is a Billion
From David Walker The next time you hear a politician use the Word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about whether you want...
His First Boat
Harold just bought a new boat, and decided to take her for the maiden voyage. This was his first boat, and he wasn't quite sure of...
Prince Charles is visiting an Edinburgh...
From David Walker Prince Charles is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. He enters a ward full of patients wi th no obvious sign of...
The wife
From David Walker An Man is cleaning his rifle and accidentally shoots his wife. He immediately dials 999. Man: "It's my ...
New airport check-in procedures
From David Walker This eliminates getting to the airport 2 hours early, but you still have to take off your shoes.
Florida Court Sets Atheist Holy Day
In Florida, an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrim...
The Story of Adam & Eve's...
From David Walker Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any...
Little Johnny watched his daddy's car
Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods..Curious, he followed the car and saw Da...
THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN...
A warning from ...........you guessed it, David Walker! We Must Stop This Immediately Have you noticed that stairs are get...
"Chet" the Christmas Carol Parrot.
You can blame David Walker for this one too! One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Ch...
Three Italian nuns die and go...
From David Walker At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter . He says, "Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that t...
To my mature friends
From David Walker Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's...
Speaking of dishwashers
From David Walker Three men married wives from different countries. The first man married a woman from China . He told her t...
Happy New Year Salford
Another great contribution from David Walker HAVE A GOOD DAY
Today's Message of the Day is:
Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that mad...
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