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   England - World Cup Champ...............
From David Walker The England team visited an orphanage in Cape Town today. "It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope," said Jamal, aged six. I hear Oxo are making a new product. The packaging is white with a red cross and they're calling it the laughing stock. What's the difference between the England team and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer. News Flash: Huge spike in sales of pink fairy tutus at Glastonbury Festival by blokes too embarrassed to wear their England shirt. Fabio Capello was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping. He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" To which the old lady replied: "No way. You got yourself into this mess. Don't ask me to sort it out!" What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup? A referee. Three hours of football and Robert Green is still England's top scorer. I can't believe we only managed a draw against a rubbish team we should easily have beaten. . . . I'm ashamed to call myself Algerian. What does the Englishman do when England wins the World Cup? He switches off the PlayStation. What's the difference between Wayne Rooney and Shrek? Shrek can save the day. What's the difference between a faulty jet engine and Wayne Rooney? The jet engine eventually stops whining. Show's over ... Wayne's World Cup is finished Due to problems with spam only SalfordOnline members can now leave comments. Becoming a member of SalfordOnline only takes a minute, just hit the red Join Us button at the top right hand side of the page to create your Personal account. Got a news story? Need help with publicity for an event in Salford? Send it to newsdesk@salfordonline.com or call the SalfordOnline newsdesk on 0161 789 5377. |
